How many times, have you had the early morning knock on the door, answering it half asleep and still unaware of what's really going on, only to find 2-3 people standing there, holding out some pamphlet or book, trying to convert you to their religion? I am not talking shit about religion, or religious people. My problem is when they come to your house, the only place you have seperated and private from the outside world, to try and force their beliefs on you. Some of them arn't nearly as bad as others. Some just pass out the little brochure and say "Join us at our church this sunday." Still really annoying, but not as annoying as is find the mormons to be. The mormons, ride around in pairs in their little suit and tie outfits on their bikes with their helmets, and will literally stop you on the street to try and convert you, as though you will suddenly switch whatever religious beliefs you may or may not have, and join theirs based on their little doorway presentation they attempt to put on. Lets look at some of the rules they have. They can't drink caffiene or alcohol, can't smoke(pretty much no fun at all) and they have to go on this stupid idiotic mission of trying to convert people in their late teens, on a FUCKING BIKE. Why they can't drive a car is beyond me, or why they have to wear a collared shirt and tie. They are one of the most riduculed and made fun of religions in all of America(besides Utah, who is guarantted to vote 100% for Mitt Romney, lol), other than Scientoligist, and don't get me started on those crazy fuckers....fucking John Travolta and Tom Cruise. To think I had respect for them as actors. So now, I'm just supposed to listen to these two guys, who woke me up at 9 o'clock in the morning, spout off their beliefs in an attempt to change my prospective on life and/or religion in only a few minutes. They must be fucing insane!!!
You know what I want to see? I want to see some kind of statistic done, on how many people this shit has actually worked on. I want to see the number of people that opened their door to these idiots, who are asking if they can ''spread the word of the book of mormon," let them in to their home and allow them to speak for longer than the usual 5 seconds people allow(which is more time than they get at my door), and once they're done, say " I don't know what I've been thinking all these years. You've really opened my mind. I can't believe that i've been a (enter specific religious belief here) all these years. You know what? I'm in! Where do I sign?" LOL. And if there has been someone crazy enough to 'Convert', and I'm sure there has, I would really love to meet these idiots. I mean, their religion just so fucking crazy and unbelievable, that this is what they've come down to. Trying to desperately gain new members because the religions that have been around for thousands of years are beating you out. Theres enough of you, and every other different religion already. I mean, you guys got Steve Young, he's a superbowl winning quarterback, you should cherish that you have someone with has a good public personality and is loved throughout this country, because I have to say, you havn't been very well portrayed in the media over the past few years, what with the big polygamy compound they found somewhere(again probaby utah) with that weird guy with like 25,000 different wives. An overexageration of course, but why the fuck do you need more than one wife??!!! Isn't one woman constantly nagging you enough?? (Having never been maried that thought is only speculation, but I did grow up with two married people) And this stupid fucking show 'The Sister Wives' is not helping what-so-ever. This overly happy, psycotic looking guy, with all these different woman, living in a house, with like 17 kids. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!???? I feel so bad for those kids, who have to grow up, and be raised thinking shit like that is ok. It's absolutly sickening.
So......To answer my own question, because it is my topic,lol. There is no way in Hell, (wether it be mormon or any other religious take on hell) that I will ever give more time, to any person of any type belief structure who is trying to force their ideas and life choices on me in my own home, than the time it takes for me to open the door, realize who it is, and slam it shut. I believe in freedom of religion, but I do not believe in religious solicitation. It believe it should be against the law, and strongly enforced. If you can put up "no solicitation" signs that state "Violaters Will Be Prosocuted" for salesmen, I think their should be a sign that says "I Already Have My Own Opinion. So If You Are Here To Spread Any Word Other Than Hello, You Can Take Your Pamphlet, Your Book, And Your Beliefs, And Shove Them Up Your Ass Before I get My Foot In There." Is it a little much? Maybe. But that's my opinion on the subject.
Great rant!
ReplyDeleteFunny story about that(well two funny stories).
One happened to my friend Jesse. One day he heard a commotion outside of his door, apparently a pair of Mormons and a pair of Jehovah's witnesses had arrived upon his doorstep at the SAME time and were arguing theology upon his his porch. He promptly yelled "WHAT THE FUCK!?" and they ran were scared away. Pretty awesome.
My own personal story was a few months ago. I had just gotten my third tattoo done. It was still hot from summer. This couple with their two VERY small children were at my door. There I stood, in my boxers and nothing else. I work nights too so my hair was all messed up. So imagine if you will, a young man, squinty eyed from lack of sleep, covered in tattoos in his underwear.... I can't believe the lady had enough gall to still even talk to me about whatever religion she was pushing... and then my roommate yells out from his room "ITS THE GOD DAMNED CHINESE!" because they had asked me why the economy was so bad... LMAO.
There is my two stories. :)
- Chris.