Today's Agenda: Fat Celebrities Should Just Stay Fat

Don't take the title of this post as if i am a somehow a supporter of obesity, becasue I am not.  I am simply a person who likes has a hard time adjusting to the sudden change in appearance by the actors who grace our tv screens.  For instance, the Drew Carrey show was the shit when it was on.  The chemistry between him and the rest of the cast kept us all entertained for years.  His chubbiness was something that we were all able to associate his name with.  Then, several years after the show's unfortunate departure, we get the news that Drew Carrey is set to replace Bob Barker on the price is right.  I was a little excited.  I was thinking that finally we could get that animal hating, face lifted 138 year old bastard out of there, and actually have some Drew Carrey style comedy included in the game show.  However, much to mine, and I'm sure many of yours dissapointment, we were met with the nearly unrecognizable, no longer funny, skinny Drew Carrey, who now sports that ridiculous sole patch under his lip.  I can't even watch that fucking show anymore.  Not only is he terrible, but having to look at this formally funny fat guy in a weird, skinny body, completley kills the show, and, for me, his career as an actor.  Plus, he seems to hate animals too, I think his parents should have been spayed and nuetered to avoid the future, usless son they produced.  GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEADS BOB AND DREW, WE LIKE PUPPIES AND KITTENS!!!!!!! lol.  Next up is Forrest Whitaker.  I don't know if anybody has seen a photo of him since he's lost his weight, (and i say photo because nobody seems to be calling him for movie roles since he lost his fat rolls), but everyone should look for it and take a look.  My god, that is a really weird change for me.  We're used to seeing him play great, semi-obese roles.  He was good in panic room, the chubby burgler who has morals.  Vantage Point, he played a good one eye closed fat guy running through the movie with a camera.  Last King of Scotland, as the king/dictator of some African country, don't remember which one, but he one the Academy award.  Plus, let's not forget the 2-3 seasons he hosted the remake of twilight zone.  Now, he's got the same size Forrest Whitaker head, which does not go with his odd, slim Forrest Whitaker body.  Since his weight loss, I can't recall one movie he's been in.  If you can, please let me know, so that I can avoid the awkwardness.
I'll end it with Jonah Hill.  He has been the lovable, foul mouthed fat ass that has made us laugh until we cried over the past few years with his countless hilarious characters.  His new movie "The Sitter" is being released this month, so I can't say yet that his weight loss has had a negative effect on his career, since he is till fat in The Sitter.  But has anyone seen him in the Modern Warfare commercials, or on his Conan appearance earlier this week.  Uhhh....I don't know if that's gonna work for America.  He's got a skinny face and body, which, if in your head you envision his previous roles replaced with the skinny version, especially superbad, it eliminates 50% of the hilarity.  People like seeing funny fat guys running around saying Fuck and Shit, and pussy every other word.  With the skinny version, all I can envision is some normal looking guy spouting off obscenities about balls and fucking and pussy, that just don't fit with his appearance.  The only type of movies he's going to be cast in now are the always dreadful romantic comedy genre.  If he has any self respect, he'll do the right thing, by heading to the nearest KFC, ordering a 15 piece meal with large mash potatoes with gravy and large order of mac and cheese, stop by a krispy creme on the way home for desert, and polish it off with a couple baskin robins triple scoop, hot fudge ice cream Sundays topped with whipped cream.  Better yet, just speed up the process and put a couple scoops of crisco in their too.  That way we can at least enjoy his movies for a few more years before his acting style and type cast roles become outplayed.  lol